This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
