Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Girls should come with a carfax report
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
