HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
