doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
