the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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