..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
