No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
