it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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