omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
