She said her name was "party"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
