all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
