i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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