what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
