I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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