i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
