Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
