i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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