Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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