You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
