ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
kristin has been a bad kristin
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
