The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
3 2 1 whiskey
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
