I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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