And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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