Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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