I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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