I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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