I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
is wine microwaveable?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
