He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
