I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
