i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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