I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
