you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
