There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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