We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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