the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
