Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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