Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
