i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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