There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
