help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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