I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
