He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
