how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
