the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
birth control should be required to get into college
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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