Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
