Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
