Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
