I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
