Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
