taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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